Navigating the Challenge of Aging Parents Making Unsafe Choices: A Guide
As our parents age, it can be heart-wrenching to watch them make choices that jeopardize their safety. Whether it’s continuing to drive despite declining abilities, refusing to take necessary medications, or neglecting personal hygiene, these behaviors can be alarming. It becomes even more complicated when you suspect they may be becoming incompetent to make sound decisions. Here’s a guide to help you navigate this sensitive issue with empathy and effectiveness.
Observe and Document
Begin by carefully observing your parents' behaviors and documenting any incidents that cause concern. Keep a journal noting dates, times, and specific situations. This can be invaluable when discussing your concerns with medical professionals or legal advisors.
Assess the Situation
Try to determine the root cause of their unsafe behavior. Is it due to cognitive decline, physical limitations, or perhaps depression? Understanding the underlying issues can help you address them more effectively.
Communicate with Compassion
Approach your parents with empathy and respect. Use "I" statements to express your concerns without sounding accusatory. For example, "I’ve noticed you’ve been having difficulty remembering to take your medications, and I’m really worried about your health.”
Involve Healthcare Professionals
Schedule an appointment with their primary care physician to discuss your concerns. The doctor can conduct a thorough evaluation and may recommend further assessments by specialists such as neurologists or geriatricians. Medical professionals can also provide documentation of their condition, which may be necessary for legal purposes. Even if you do not have a POA, you can still voice your concerns with healthcare professionals even if they are not able to relay information back to you.
Discuss Power of Attorney
If your parents’ cognitive abilities are declining, it may be time to discuss setting up a power of attorney (POA). A POA allows a designated person to make legal and financial decisions on their behalf if they become unable to do so. It’s best to have this conversation early, while your parents can still participate in the decision.
Introduce Safety Measures
Implement small changes to improve their safety without taking away their independence. This can include installing grab bars in the bathroom, using a pill organizer for medications, or arranging for meal delivery services. Gradual adjustments can make them more accepting of help.
Seek Mediation
Sometimes, an impartial third party can help mediate difficult conversations. Geriatric care managers, healthcare advocate, or elder law attorneys can facilitate discussions and help develop a plan that prioritizes your parents’ safety and dignity.
Educate Yourself on Legal Options
In severe cases where your parents are making significantly unsafe decisions and refusing help, you may need to explore legal options such as guardianship or conservatorship. These legal tools allow you to make decisions on their behalf, but they also involve a court process and should be considered a last resort.
Prioritize Their Involvement
Whenever possible, involve your parents in decisions about their care. Respect their autonomy and preferences, and try to find compromises that ensure their safety while honoring their wishes.
Take Care of Yourself
Caring for aging parents can be emotionally and physically draining. Make sure to seek support for yourself, whether through therapy, support groups, or respite care services. Your well-being is crucial in being able to care for them effectively.
Conclusion
Dealing with aging parents who make unsafe choices is a challenging and emotional experience. By approaching the situation with empathy, clear communication, and professional guidance, you can help ensure their safety while respecting their autonomy. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey—seek out resources and support to help both you and your parents navigate these difficult times.
At Haven Healthcare Advocates we strive to make sure clients and families have all the information they need, and they understand the information they have, in order to make the best healthcare decisions. We coordinate care to make sure nothing falls between the cracks. Whether someone is faced with a complicated healthcare issue or crisis, caring for an aging or sick parent, caring for a special needs child, transitioning from hospital, to rehab, to home, or is looking for resources or second opinions, our team of nurses is available to help. We provide peace of mind, so you can enjoy time with your loved ones.
To learn more about Haven Healthcare Advocates and the services we provide please visit our website at www.havenhca.com or click here to schedule a consultation.